Too Much

The weekend still wondering
this Monday, in my head.
I love you all
but not at once.

Too much shine
too much noise
I need one at a time
and slow, like stew.

No penetration
into the worlds of you anyway.
I am fiercely curious
but not sharp enough-
like a butter knife
stabbing a deflated balloon.

My nerves fray
and my eyes twitch,
though, wrapped in fat layer of love.
I will smile big for all my life
but maybe not know what to say.
Don't hold that against me.

No bathroom, elevator, or weather talk please.
I need secrets, thoughts, and dreams,
followed by sighs of complete contentment.

Sadness is still sitting
in my nervous stomach
with thoughts of Friday.
The first time I glimpsed
at everyone's faces.

If I rememeber correctly,
these are the same sad nerves
I had in high school.

I mean, God, (if) next time I see you again
my child will be 19.
Doesn't that make your eyes grow big?
Don't you want to know her name
and find out her latest dreams?
If not wanting to know me,
don't you have hope for my child?